Happy Birthday, Jack and John!

Today was Jack and John's birthday. They are now four. One of the first "words of wisdom" I heard when the boys were born was, "twins get easier when they are four". At the time, that was not the best thing to hear, four years was a long time. It's been a long four years. It started off rather rough. There was one day especially right after the boys were born that I wondered if we would even get this far.
That was a bad day. It was a day that changed my life and changed me forever.

So, four years ago today. I went into the hospital with contractions. It was May 3rd, the babies were not due until June 22. I was admitted to the hospital and the doctor gave me Magnesium to stop the contractions. This stuff makes you feel like you a burning from the inside out. You seriously feel like you are on fire. Apparently, I did pretty well on it, so they said, and they kept turning it up and up until it made me so sick I started to gag and my water broke. That was it. The boys had to come.

They were born within four minutes of each other. One push each. I had Jack and the nurses took him to the table to work on him. Then came John. I got to hold him for a minute, but in the picture that I have of me holding him, he does look a little purple. They took him right away and Jack to the NICU. Gary went with them. I was taken back to my room and I didn't hear from anybody for half an hour. Finally, I called the nurses and I got to go down to the NICU to see the babies.

Here is what we saw.
They were pretty healthy. John was 4lbs. 6oz. He just needed a little help breathing.


Jack was 4lbs. 3oz . Look at him all relaxed in his bed. He was doing pretty good on his own.


We would go in to the NICU everyday for about two weeks. When we got there we would change their diaper, take their temp and feed them. It all started to become very routine. Then we would hold them and talk to them. They were so little.


At first, they had their own beds, but as they got bigger they were able to sleep together. They were so cute how they cuddled together.

I remember going in to the hospital one day and thinking (it had been about two weeks) that I was sick of all this and I was ready for them to come home. That is the day it happened. I walked in the NICU and the weirdest feeling overcame me. I could tell it had been a hectic morning in there and something just didn't feel right. I went over to Jack to start our routine and there was something wrong. Jack was crying a lot, like he was in pain. Crying wasn't something these little guys did too often. I started to change his diaper and at that moment he had filled it with blood. He screamed and screamed. I am just in shock and don't know what the heck is going on. It was like everything was in slow motion, but not. The nurse came over and was a little beside herself. She kept saying, "where's the doctor?" "we need the doctor!" followed by , "I am sorry. I am sorry." Then the doctor came and it was decided that Jack needed his stomach pumped and to get a central IV line. After a few more, "I'm sorry's," they moved him back to the bed he started out in. He went from being this little pink angry baby to a pale white ghost of a baby who hardly moved. It was so sad. I was a mess.


Here he is about a week later. He stayed on the bed for two weeks about just like that. We couldn't hold him or anything. Jack ended up having something called NEC. Necrotizing Entrocolitis. It is a infection in the intestines. It basically eats the tissue in the intestines and leaves dead tissue which can cause the intestines to back up. Most of the time babies need surgery to get out the dead tissue and clear any blockage. After a crazy day, I went home and Gary went back to the hospital. He came home later that night. We slept as best as we could then the phone rings at about 6:00am in the morning. The nurses call and say that they believe John has the same thing and he needs to get his stomach pumped, put on anti-biotics, and get an IV. (These pictures are about a week or so old from the first day of getting sick). What a crappy phone call. We were lucky though because the doctor was able to treat the infections with anti-biotics. We never did need surgery, which I attribute to the many prayers, fastings and priesthood blessings these little guys had. Even our sweet nurse says to us, "I know I am not of your faith, but I have seven brothers and sisters and I called them all and they are all praying for your little boys." I know all those prayers were heard.

It took about a month for the boys to recover from the whole ordeal. They got stronger and healthier. About a week before we left, John's heart rate went up to over 300 bpm, which if you can't guess is pretty bad. He had something called SVT (super ventricular tachycardia). A valve in his heart didn't close properly and it pretty much caused a short circuit. So, his little heart just went a little nuts and couldn't stop by itself.

He was on heart medication for a year. If we gave that same medication to Jack it would have killed him, so that was nerve-racking making sure we gave it to the right kid. We only had one freak out about that and luckily we did give it to the right baby. I swear, what they let us parents do sometimes.

Jack got to come home about three days earlier than John. I don't know if that was more sad for the twins or me.

One day we smuggled Jack in and let him sleep by John. Jack is the one with his arms above his head. I think John missed him.

This is the day they both got to come home. That was a good day.




This is Jack and John at about 10 months old. We always tried to put Jack on the left and John on the right.

First birthday.



Second Halloween.
After about a year, I noticed or realized that the boys never liked to stand on their feet ever. I would constantly bring it up with the doc, but he said that the boys were preemies and were just delayed. It seemed more than just a delay to me. I contacted Child Find (a program through our county that assists in early childhood development). They assigned a physical therapist (whom we loved) and she helped us get to a pediatric orthopedist. It was determined that the boys may have had some loss of oxygen to to the brain that made their muscles rigid. Or in other words, they had a slight case of Cerebral Palsy. That was a scary word to throw at me. I was ready for it though. I had done a lot of research on the Internet and that was the only explanation I could find. I think she was waiting for more of a reaction than she got from us. They were not tested for it though because they would have had to get an MRI and been put to sleep . The doc was also afraid that it wouldn't show up. She decided to treat the problem and not worry so much about the cause. They were fitted for AFO's, which by the way cost about $1500 apiece. They started standing, they started walking along tables...


...but it wasn't until they were well past their 2nd birthday that they were able to walk on their own. After that lots of things began to happen. They were even able to talk better and more because that was a concern.

Funny boys.
Third Birthday.

What a crazy ride it has been with these two little guys. I am not going to lie, it has been hard. Yet, sometimes I can't help to feel a little guilty that we were able to fix the problems that we have started with, while others have things they have to deal with their whole lives. That is not to say we won't have anything left from this. We are still in braces and we are still using services from the county to help with the delays because we still have some. But, I don't think these things will interfere with daily life as they get older. They will just be things that they were learn to deal with. The whole thing has been one huge blessing. Not so much that the boys will be okay and lead "normal lives" (whatever that means), but the whole experience has been a huge blessing. It has changed my perspective on being a mom, it has made me have more faith that the lord knows what is best for us and what we can handle as a family, and it has made me a little more understanding and forgiving because we just don't know what people are going through or what makes them them. It also makes me a little embarrassed for past behaviors. The best thing about it is that it has made me realize that Gary and I can get through anything together and I am glad we picked each other.

It took me about a year to talk about this stuff and four years to write about it. From here on out we are moving forward.

Happy Birthday, Jack and John. I am glad you are here and I am glad you are mine!